A Week of Reflection and Facing My Fears

Taane1A couple of big things happened this last week and I didn’t expect either of them, so I wasn’t particularly prepared. Now I’ll warn you, this post might go a little bit deep – a lot deeper than my previous ones – but when we talk about our fears and emotions you can’t help but go deep! And like I mentioned last week, our emotions have a direct influence on our health and wellbeing so I thought I’d share this with you in the hope that it helps me work through what I’m feeling, and maybe even help you with something you’re going through right now as well.

So one thing that happened was my Nana passed away. I’ll be honest with you, I wasn’t very close to my Nana, in fact, I really didn’t know her well at all. This comes down to growing up in a single parent family, and I’m not sure about your experiences with this but in mine, the other side of the family definitely didn’t get much of an active role in my childhood or life in general. But despite that, it shook me up a little, which can only be expected I guess when someone who is directly responsible for your existence in this world then leaves this world. One of my closest friends said to me, it’s almost like you feel that generational connection break. And yes, I definitely felt some of that!

The other thing that happened is that my amazing little pug, Taane, had surgery to remove two cancerous lumps. He’s had a couple before, but never two at the same time, and certainly never come out of surgery with the 12cm slice down his side that he had this time. This shook me up even more, not to sound like crazy dog lady, but my pug is like my baby and the thought of anything happening to him is terrifying!

So what do you do in a time like this? For me, it made me think about a lot of things. Lots of questions, maybe a few answers. Lots of self-reflection, and reflection on life itself. A few am I’s, should I’s, did I’s. And lots of stillness. I think in life sometimes you just need to sit quietly and listen to your heart and your soul and let these feelings move through you without needing to analyse and make some form of rational sense of them. Just let them be. So that’s what I did.

And what I found was, in amongst all the fears, there was a surprising amount of optimism.

It’s deepened my belief that you can’t control life. Sometimes it will throw things at you that you have no choice but to deal with. It throws you outside of your comfort zone when you really don’t want to leave that warm and secure little place. But what you can control is how you choose to deal with those things. How you approach them and the meaning you take from them.

So the meaning I have found is this. Love the people around you and make their happiness as equally as important as your own. Show your gratitude and love without fear of repercussion. Allow yourself happiness and love without fearing what may happen in the future. Love yourself and love your life! It’s so simple but I reckon all of us, yes, even you my friend, are guilty of letting this slip. Live in the now a little more, let the past be where it is and let the future come however it will. After all, right now is all you’ve got! So make it count honey!

I hope this post has helped you a little bit in whatever place you’re in right now. If it has, please share your thoughts below, I’d love to hear about how you’ve worked through any experiences similar to mine. In the meantime, I’m off to give my pug more cuddles than he can handle (and yes, that is him in the photo! In all his pugalicious glory).

With love and living in the now,

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  1. I hope Taane is feeling better and sorry to hear about your Nan. I lit a candle for her on Friday night and this contributed to a peaceful long weekend with lots of rest and a realisation that my “yoga” is my music – for when I start playing my instruments, I become still and I focus on only that… and that is good for my soul. I am making a point of playing every day!

    • Thank you for your beautiful words Jenny! And I love that you are doing your ‘yoga’ – I’m so proud of everything you have achieved in such a short amount of time. You are truly an inspiration!

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