I’m going to let you in on a little secret. There’s one relationship in my life that seems to be controlling all of my other relationships at the moment, and for some reason it doesn’t matter how well I plan things, it just doesn’t work. Right now, it’s my biggest limitation. I’m rearranging everything for it! And still, I keep finding that things aren’t going the way I want them too.
It’s my relationship with time.
I feel like I’m constantly saying to people, I’m busy! So much that I’m starting to sound like a broken record and I really don’t like it. But to be honest? And I don’t want to say it again but…I am busy! I have a fulltime job, I’m running my health coaching business and seeing my beautiful clients, and I’m studying. Plus I have this gorgeous husband who deserves my quality time, I’m committed to my exercise routine, and I have friends and family who need me. Oh and I love cooking dinner, and reading books, and every now and then I might even like to try that thing they call relaxing.
But I’ve realised that sometimes I lose myself and my priorities in my busy-ness. This is really new to me, having so many things on the go at once, and it’s exposing itself to be a really interesting learning curve. It’s an evolution for me that I’m starting to become conscious to. I’m realising that I can’t give my clients, my husband or myself my full energy and attention when I’m constantly running to a schedule and thinking about the next thing on the list!
How often do we do that? Do you find yourself in the middle of one task, but worrying about the next thing you have to do? Or worse, stressing about the last thing you did and whether or not you did it right? If you’re anything like me, probably a lot. You’ll be in a meeting at work but you’re really thinking about what to cook for dinner. And then when you’re home cooking dinner, you’re wondering what was said in that meeting and what to include in the report you have to write up tomorrow.
I recently read a great quote that said, “Depression is living in the past, anxiety is living in the future.” Oh my GOSH yes! How much does that resonate with you? How many times on a Sunday afternoon do you get anxious thinking about Monday morning looming in the distance? Or something happening next week, or next year? Or maybe it’s looking behind that gets you. Remembering an argument you had with an old boyfriend and feeling the same frustration and anger come up. Or wishing you’d said something differently, or done something differently, or worn something different.
We’re never really here, right here in this present moment. And you know what happens? We miss things. I know for sure that I do. A word, a moment, a thought. Something that’s happening right in front of me but I don’t see it because my mind is already a day into the future. And I really, really want to change that.
After all, now is all we have! The things that happened yesterday are just a memory and a story. The stuff that’s happening tomorrow won’t be played out until you get there and for now it’s just a mystery. No matter how much you think about it, tomorrow probably won’t be anything like the scenarios you’re playing out in your mind, and the past will never be any different than how it was.
Now I know I’m not going to change overnight, but I’m okay with taking a few small steps in the right direction. So here’s what I’m going to do first. I’m going to change my perception on time. I’m going to control time, not the other way around.
My biggest lesson here is that time doesn’t own me – I own it! I choose how to spend each and every moment of my day, and I do so consciously and purposefully. And if I find I’m worrying too much about tomorrow, then I’ll stop and take a few deep breaths to slow myself down and get back to the present.
This doesn’t change the fact that I still have a lot on my plate, but if I can be present with every individual thing that I’m doing then it won’t seem as overwhelming. I can enjoy each and every moment for what it is. After all, you can only do one thing at a time so why not find the peace and enjoyment in each thing you do!
How is your relationship with time? Do you feel like you’re a past-dweller or a future-dweller? Or maybe you’ve mastered the art of being present! Please share your story below – if you have time, of course.
With love and deep breaths,