Yesterday was a momentous day for me. It was the day of the You & Your Wellbeing workshop, and it was hands down the most incredible day I’ve had the blessing to be part of. 50 women in one room, oh man! You know what it’s like with that many women in one space? The energy was electric!
And, the energy was positive. Open, welcoming, loving, genuine. These are feelings that women do best, yes??
So for four hours (we ran over by a whole hour and no one minded!) we did yoga, listened to inspirational talks, talked about – and ate – great food, and meditated. We mingled, giggled, laughed, cried and connected. And I left on such a high, that kind of high you only get from being around stunningly like-minded people lifting each other up.
I was buzzing for hours. I think I’m still buzzing now!
And it made me realise just how important this connection is – the female connection – and the power we have to lift each other up.
Because in today’s world there is a whole lot of pushing each other down. Of pushing ourselves down. Women have it tough I think. We’re bombarded with images of airbrushed supermodels and told that to be worthy we need to look like them. As if the only thing that matters is the size of our thighs, the size of our boobs, the size of our booty. How smooth our skin is and how shiny our hair is. And if you don’t fit that stereotype then honey, you’ve got no hope in life. Right?!?
So bring on millions of women punishing themselves with diets, extreme eating, obsessive gym workouts and constant put downs. Bring on the self-loathing!
That, beautiful, is not healthy in any sense. It’s not healthy for the person doing it, for their family around them, or for humankind! A whole gender of people walking around thinking negative thoughts about themselves all day? Not to mention the constant judgement on their fellow gender! We’re hating on ourselves for not being a size 0, but then we’re hating on each other for being a size 0! For being ‘pretty’ and for being ‘ugly’. (I put that in inverted commas because those labels are relative. They’re in the eye of the beholder.)
It separates us from each other, and it stops us welcoming each other with that kindness that we women do so well. It stops us from reaching out, from making friends, and from having love in our lives. It stops us connecting to our divine femininity!
Because here’s the thing.
You are not your body.
You have a body. But you are not your body. Say it with me!! You are not your body!!
Your body is just the space that you reside in on this earth. It’s the home you live in. And yes, you need to take care of it and look after it, otherwise it will impact the amount of enjoyment you can have on this earth, but it does not define who you are.
You are who you are inside. You are your emotions, your values, your love and your humanness. You are that instinctual urge to help when you see a picture of a hurt animal or a crying baby. You are that bubble of happiness in your heart when your mum / dad / husband / wife / boyfriend / girlfriend / child looks at you and says “I love you”. You are the bliss you get when you dance around the house to your favourite song when no one’s watching. You are the pride you feel when you finish something, write a song, or paint a picture.
You are that quiet stillness in your mind. When all the chitter-chatter dies away and it’s just you, being present. That’s who you are.
So how about sending some love into your body? To every part of yourself, especially those bits that you don’t like – send even more love to them! Tell your body that you love it, thank it for all the work it does for you every day, for allowing you to experience everything you get through your five senses.
And when you see another woman on the street, see if you can stop yourself from passing judgement. She might be going through something difficult right now, or maybe she’s beating herself up about something. Offer a smile instead of a sideways glance. If we can start sending love to ourselves and to each other, imagine what could happen! Could we create a community of encouragement and support? Of ladies who love their bodies and no longer compare themselves to magazine pictures or to each other?
Could we create a world of happy women?
I absolutely believe we could. And workshops like I experienced yesterday are an incredible start to getting there.
If you’ve got any ideas, please share them below! Let’s move the judgement aside and make room for the positivity!
With love and femininity,