A Note About Fear

A Note About FearFear. It’s imbedded in each and every one of us in some way, whether in a full-blown phobia state or just a little knot in your stomach that stops you in your tracks.

Fear is that voice in your head that says things like, “But what if I fail? What if I look stupid and people laugh at me? What if I lose all my money and can’t afford my rent and end up living in a cardboard box?” That’s fear.

Fear is the thing that stops people from living the life of their dreams. There is less fear in sticking with what you know, right? So all around the world people are staying in their comfortable homes and not jumping on that plane to take that adventure. People are staying in their comfortable jobs and not applying for the role that they constantly daydream about working on. People are staying in comfortable relationships that have lost their spark, and not going on that journey of self-discovery.

People are staying in their comfortable daily routines that are making them unhealthy and miserable, and not stepping up to make changes.

Because we’re scared of the unknown. We’re scared of what we might find out there. We get comfortable, life becomes easy, and we get scared of being uncomfortable and uneasy and having to put some effort in.

I can see so clearly times in my life where I’ve done this exact thing. Stayed in a bad relationship, stayed in a dull job, or stayed at home when really I wanted to be out there in the world doing something completely different. I can see how I restricted my opportunities and even my own happiness by listening to that fear when it said “Bianca, it’s safer to just stay here. Stay here with what you know best.” And so I did. And I was pretty miserable for a while there.

Fear is so restricting!

But then there comes a time when you have to make a choice. Is it scarier to be miserable, or scarier to make a leap into the unknown?

Is it scarier to stay at home looking wistfully at pictures of the Eiffel Tower, or scarier to jump on a plane and go and see it in real life?

Is it scarier to go to a job every day that you don’t like and stresses you out completely, or scarier to chuck it all in and try doing something that you’re really passionate about?

Is it scarier to sit back and always wish you’d done something, or scarier to go out there and do it?

Of course, no matter what path you choose there will always be more fear. Because you’re human, and you like comfort. We’re born that way! So at every step your mind will constantly bring up something else that you should be scared of and avoid at all costs.

But the more you keep walking down the path, the more you feel the fear but ignore it and do that thing anyway, the stronger you’re gonna get. It’s like a game of poker – Yes, I see you fear, and I raise you one. The more you can acknowledge that this fear is just that – a fear! It’s not reality, it’s (usually) not based on any concrete evidence. Usually it’s just a fabrication of your imagination, something you’ve dreamed up that may or may not have a likelihood of happening in your future life.

The more you can see it is this light, then the easer it will get to overcome it.

And why am I talking about this? Because I feel fear all the time. Some days more than others. Especially now that I’ve gone fulltime into my business and I am solely responsible for creating my own workload and getting clients and making money! Some days it’s absolutely terrifying. But I feel that fear and I do it anyway.

There’s no point sitting around being paralysed into inaction. I’d never get anywhere! So I put the fear thoughts to the back of my mind and I get on with it. And so far none of those crazy imaginary scenarios that fear has played into my mind have happened. I’m not homeless, starving or broke. And it’s really nice to remember that sometimes.

So what about you? What are you afraid of, and what is the real likelihood of that thing actually happening to you? Can you see your fear and raise it one?

Once you start on your path of fearlessness, it will be challenging yes, but it will get easier. What’s one thing you can do today to start your journey?

With love and a good poker face,

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